Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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