how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
