hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
how does that bad decision feel?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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