Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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