so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
