I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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