dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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