I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
