Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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