He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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