So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
