garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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