Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
