some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
