stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You smell like stripper and shame
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
