wat bout pragnant strippers??
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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