Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
