i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
