I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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