What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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