o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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