Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?