I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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