were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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