i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize