we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
