Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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