i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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