Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
