Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
