and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
