how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
