Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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