I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
