I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
