I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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