i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize