so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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