Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
