I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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