hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
