I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
