lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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