She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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