Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
