I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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