he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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