Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.