i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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