So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
