My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
