Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
