You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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