oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
