Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i barfeds in our rink
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
